you know i hate to be stalling, but everytime i visit this page, i suddenly have nothing to say. also, the lack of an interest and cause is really making me lose heart in the things i do. i feel very much like an empty vessel. yea, thats definitely is not a good thing to call yourself.
you know its just so easy to mope around in a sudden state of melancholy. thankfully i didnt have to work the whole of this week.
then again, the thing is, my job's actually one of the few things that keeps me going these days.

on another note, it would be a whole lot better if i could get my pay soon too. i really hate the wait. you know its true when they say life is always a fair trade.

and then theres this constant anxiety abt the very bleak future ahead. its never easy to get over bad times but people do move on.. you know they say its never the end of the road unless you say so. but what if for every doubt and concern you have, u already have an answer to it, but still that doesnt make anything better?

none of these leads to a concrete conclusion, and if you dont get it, u probably was never put in the position to understand it in the first place, and so it brings me back to the question, why am i saying all these, and why am i having this constant debate with myself.

how can anyone make a decision, knowing that it will affect the rest of her life in every possible way? and how could i be so nonchalent abt my future when i once had a chance to make that difference?

being 18 should be a blast, and this should be the time of my life. just how am i gonna make that happen? that's why i say its so easy to mope around.
and since i'm at it, i would like to promise myself here and now, to put
this whole episode behind and to move on with living a life that is nothing filled with regrets and gloom. a life to call my own (:

bless me.